Category Archives: practices

i will do it now

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I will not wait until I am thinner, richer, have my closets cleaned out or my drawers organized.

I will do it now.

I will not wait for this weekend, or Monday or March or 2016.

I will do it now.

I will not wait for the weather to cool off or warm up, for the stars to align, or the seasons to change.

I will do it now.

Whatever it is that I have put off for the “right time”.

I will do it now.

I have figured out that waiting for this to happen or be completed before I move forward on what I need to do to live a better life, is just procrastination based on fear. It means I am hedging my bets on my life. I have created truly non-existent barriers, huge walls to climb before I get to the “good stuff”.  It means that I have created an excuse long before attempting whatever it is I want to do… because of fear of failure. Today the walls come down, I lay my chips on the table and the excuses and fear stops.

It stops now.

I will no longer waste valuable time.

What starts now are all the things I’ve postponed.

Life it way too short.

It really is.

It’s time to start living.

I will do it now.

~e

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10 books on Meditation = possible head injury

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I have 10 books on meditation and 3 boxes of meditation cards. I have never successfully meditated in my life. As you can see from my large meditation collection I have a desire to meditate but have been unable to do so successfully…even once.

I fall asleep EVERY TIME.

Now, I know, from all of my reading about meditation that it is a “practice”. It takes people years to become “good” at meditation, I get that…but I am guessing one has to stay awake to “still the mind”.
My first attempt at meditation almost ended with a head injury.

I have a very comfortable chair that I thought would be perfect to try my first meditation.
Ridiculously comfortable to sit in with good back support. Perfect. My goal is to be the best meditator out there. Have the Dalai Lama call ME to ask how I became such a master at meditation, a girl can dream big, right? Even with this lofty goal I figured it would behoove me to start small. Like the books recommended, just practice sitting and breathing. How hard can that be?

Sitting cross-legged in the chair, I closed my eyes. I begin focusing on my breath (as the books had instructed). in…….out…………in…………..

I am startled by my head caressing the metal bookcase that sits to the left of the chair. I place my hand out to catch myself, but instead, choose to catch myself with my face. As I assess the situation from the floor, I ask myself a few questions:

1. Do I feel calm? not exactly
2. Do I feel enlightened? not so much
3. Do I feel like I have a head injury? quite possibly

As I lift my broken spirit and bumped head off of the floor, I begin to ponder why it is that I fell asleep. Maybe I am actually GREAT at meditation…so great that I was able to quickly go into such a state of meditation that my mind actually closed off to all things outside of myself and I wasn’t sleeping but was actually in another realm.

Or maybe I fell asleep, fell out of a chair and hit my head.

I think the answer is “B”.

Namaste,
e~